Balance ≠ Equal
When most people talk about ‘balance’ in their lives, it quickly becomes clear that they mean ‘equal’. Equal time at work and at home. Equal time for family and friends, and personal time. The same amount of time per ‘thing’ week in and week out.
This is why chasing Balance only brings frustration. We are chasing a mirage. Balance isn’t about dividing things equally; it’s about distributing energy intentionally, based on what matters most in a given, with the clarity of mind that comes from knowing this simple truth - ‘It is about the quality, not quantity, of time’.
Sound interesting? Read on.
The first step is a change in perspective. Instead of visualising Balance as static (as I did for many many years, until about 12 minutes ago), we must Balance as something dynamic and fluid. Think of a tightrope walker, leaning left and right, constantly adjusting to stay upright. Some days, work will demand more of our attention. Other times, family, rest, or a personal project will need us to lean the other way.
The goal is not to split things evenly but to keep moving forward—steady and intentional—based on the shifting priorities of the moment.
Shifting our energy and focus feels less chaotic when we live by a code—our own guiding “North Star.” It’s like navigating a stormy sea with a lighthouse in view. The waves may pull us in different directions, but that light reminds us which way to steer. A clear sense of purpose lets us make decisions with intention, not out of guilt or habit. It’s the difference between chasing every fleeting demand and choosing what aligns with what truly matters. When we’re grounded in our values, the push and pull of daily life becomes less about balance and more about rhythm—leaning in where it counts while staying anchored to something bigger.
Trying to force equal focus everywhere will leave us spread too thin. Burnout creeps in when we try to meet unrealistic expectations, rather than focusing on where we can make the most impact. Leaders, especially, face this challenge as they juggle professional demands and personal commitments.
By reframing balance as prioritisation - and crucially, consistent and perpetual reprioritisation against a meaningful code - we can channel our energy into what truly matters without guilt or undue tension.
So what next?
Here are a couple of ways to take this idea further.
Find your ‘North Star’ - I deeply believe that we all have a Purpose, we just haven’t necessarily unearthed it yet. It’s no surprise - the clarification process is difficult, time-consuming and intangible. These are three things we are conditioned to avoid. But it’s worth it. Because once you know what it is, everything becomes easier - from long-term planning through to immediate decision-making.
Articulate, decide and commit to your Priorities - Notice the capital ‘P’ here. Again, most people have them, they just haven’t thought about it. We all have pillars in our life that we give energy to, and which in turn give energy to us (though not always at the same time). Mine, for example, are Family, Coaching and Jiujitsu (in that order). Once I had these clarified, I could them plan my days, weeks and months more effectively to make sure I was as present and intentional in each of these areas as I can. (To be clear, I have never been 100% present or intentional in any of them, but the beauty is often in the attempt).
True balance is an ongoing practice, not a one-time achievement. By letting go of rigid equality, we can embrace a more intentional way to lead, live, and grow.
What does balance look like for you this week?