The Beauty of Sadness
Leadership often calls us to be strong, clear, and composed. These qualities are important, but they aren’t the whole story. Beneath the surface, leadership also brings moments of doubt, loss, and sadness. It’s tempting to push these feelings aside, focusing instead on solutions and progress. But what if these moments of discomfort are part of what makes us better leaders?
Sadness has a way of inviting reflection. It holds up a mirror, showing us truths we might not want to see but need to understand. In Rumi’s poem “The Guest House”, even sorrow is welcomed as a visitor, because it may be “clearing you out for some new delight.” This openness, though difficult, is a path to greater depth and clarity.
The Hidden Strength of Sadness
In leadership, sadness often signals a gap between reality and our values. It can arise when decisions affect others in ways we wish they wouldn’t, or when something we’ve worked hard for falls short. These moments feel heavy because they matter. They remind us of our care, our responsibility, and our shared humanity.
Instead of rushing past these feelings, what if we allowed them to guide us? By sitting with the discomfort, we might find insights that a quick fix can’t reveal. For example, a leader grieving the loss of a valued team member might also uncover a deeper commitment to building an environment where people can thrive. Sadness, when faced, has the power to reconnect us with our purpose.
Embracing Discomfort Together
Leadership can feel isolating, especially when carrying the weight of difficult emotions. Yet, it doesn’t have to be. Sharing vulnerability—thoughtfully and with care—can foster trust. A leader admitting, “This is hard for me too,” creates space for others to acknowledge their own challenges.
Jocelyn Davis, in her book The Art of Quiet Influence, emphasises this in Quiet Influence Practice 2: Encouraging Others to Express Objections and Doubts. When we invite and respect dissent or discomfort in conversations, we not only validate others’ experiences but also build bridges of understanding.
As leaders, embracing this practice can feel counterintuitive. Encouraging objections might seem like opening the door to conflict. Yet, when done with care, it creates trust and clarity. By welcoming discomfort—both our own and others’—we transform leadership from a polished performance into an authentic collaboration.
Growth Through Reflection
Sitting with sadness allows us to grow. It slows us down, helps us understand what matters, and prepares us for the next challenge. In Stoicism, discomfort is seen as an opportunity to build resilience and perspective. The same holds true in leadership. Sadness and other “negative” emotions, when embraced, can lead to clearer decisions, stronger relationships, and a deeper sense of purpose.
Leadership isn’t just about solutions or strategies. It’s also about growth—both for others and for ourselves. Sadness has a role to play in that growth, if we are willing to listen. There is beauty in the discomfort, and in the truths it reveals.